


Sexy Sexy

by schmevil



Category: Avengers (Comic), She-Hulk
Genre: Crack, F/F, Female Protagonist, Interspecies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 21:32:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schmevil/pseuds/schmevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jen and Jazinda go shopping for Halloween costumes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexy Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> For Bluefall.

"Sexy nurse?" Jen holds up a meager pile of white and red fabric.

"Why are all of these costumes 'sexy'?" Jazinda doesn't actually make the air quotes. Jen had told her (loudly and numerous times) that they were 'so two thousand'. She had no idea what that meant.

"It's part of the fun!" Jen enthuses.

"I see." Jazinda fingers some shimmering black fabric. "Sexy catgirl?"

"You'd be hot in that."

"I could be hot in any of these outfits."

She takes a quick, sureptitious look around them - the disorganized racks of cheap costumes have hidden them from view of the other patrons. With Jen in her human form, and Jazinda in her Jen form, they're unremarkable, aside from being apparent twins. She shifts, gaining height and weight (mostly at her chest and hips). Her hair goes from a brown bob, to long blonde waves. Instead of jeans, t-shirt and sneakers, she's now wearing crisp white shorts, a loose, filmy gold blouse, and gold, stiletto sandals. The diamond bracelet is a last second addition - the model hadn't been wearing one - but Jaz is nothing if not thorough.

Jen flails at her ineffectively - something between a signal to stop, and general displeasure. Too late. "Jaz," she hisses. "Someone could have seen you."

Jazinda does a quick twirl on her heels. The blouse alternately swings and clings as she moves - it's probably too revealing for discount shopping. "No one saw me." She stops, with her hips canted, and hands resting on them - showing off.

"What do you think they'd call this?" She indicates her new body. "Sexy sexy?"

Jen grabs her wrist, pushing the bangles up her forearm, and thrusts her into a rack of costumes. "Change back. Now." Jen actually sounds alarmed.

There's a small risk that someone could see, and leap to the conclusion that she's a Skrull - they've been replaced in the public consciousness by other, newer threats. Even Colbert has downgraded their threat level. But Jen is wildly scanning the shop for spies.

Suddenly she lets Jazinda go, and gives a mother-daughter shopping team a watery smile."My friend wanted a second opinion." The mother eyes them with obvious disapproval, and drags her daughter past them to the racks of wholesome girl costumes. The daughter doesn't look happy at the prospect of being a lobster, or a giant yellow crayon for Halloween. As soon as they turn the corner, Jazinda shifts back to her Jen form.

"I don't get this," she says, pitching her voice so only Jen can hear. "I don't need a costume." And when Jen looks like she might protest, "Nobody needs to _know_ that - if the point is to dress up, well, I'm already dressed up."

Then Jen - Sl'gur't preserve her - pouts. "I just wanted your first Halloween to be awesome."

"And that means dressing up in some cheap, awful costume?"

"It's traditional." Jen says this firmly, and Jazinda can see her gathering her evidence, readying herself to present her case, yet again. She needs to keep Jen off balance.

"And it's got nothing to do with your dress up fantasies?" Jaz - in Jen form - smiles innocently at the real Jen, who looksd horrified. And then not horrified - the panicked, dead-eyed grimace slowly shifting into a leer.

"I've still got my high school uniform."

"Do you still fit into it?"

"YES. And I'm not the one who's going to wear it."

"Oh really," Jazinda said. "Just what are you wearing?"

"Me? I'm going as She-Hulk of course."

"No way."

"Way, very way."

"No," Jazinda says breathily. "I've got just the costume for you." She hooks her fingers in Jen's belt loops and pulls her over to another rack. (And this, more than Jazinda walking around as Maria Sharapova in _Brooklyn_, would probably cause more of a stir, being as they were now identical. But humans were the furthest things from logical).

"Oh yeah?" Jen says, just as breathily - although in Jen's case, unlike in Jazinda's, it's caused by actual shortness of breathe.

Jazinda pulls down a hanger of red fabric, and thrust it at Jen. "Sexy lobster."


End file.
